‘This Saturday in the Enchanted Realm’

    

This just in: Azim’s Fall Ceremonial is Saturday afternoon! The Prophets of the Black Fez will fez more Prophets in a ceremony so moving that—I don’t even think the English language has the vocabulary to convey how moving it is.

This will be from noon to four o’clock in the French Ionic Room in Masonic Hall.

It’s just one man’s opinion, but I believe a Master Mason, beyond the lodge, needs only Royal Arch and Grotto. And a research lodge. And maybe Cryptic. But that’s it!

Due to a bizarre scheduling conflict, I cannot be there, so the Chaplain’s duties will require someone else’s attention.

Lunch will be served. As always, it’s BYOB. Hmmm…what else, what else?

Oh yeah! If you haven’t petitioned for membership yet, there’s still time. Click here.

     

‘A great Grotto day’

    

Grotto ceremonial today hosted by Simba in south Jersey. Grand Monarch Victor Mann and Grand Master Len Vander Horn were present.

Great day today way out in Pennsauken, New Jersey—right outside Philadelphia—for a Grotto Ceremonial on this, the sixteenth day of International Grotto Month.

The occasion brought together Prophets from five or six Grottoes, including Grand Monarch Victor Mann himself. Simba Grotto hosted at Merchantville Lodge 119 and was joined by others from Shamaliu, Azim, Delco, and one prophet from both Zal Gas and Tri Po Bed.

Grand Historian/District Deputy Grand Monarch Frank Sforza took the lead on the ritual, and was brilliant as usual—even working in a few ad libbed quips at the expense of the Grand Master of the Grand Lodge of New Jersey, MW Len Vander Horn, who was a good sport about it.

Don’t forget the Empire State Grotto Association’s Spring Convention at Kingston, New York, April 19-21. Then, of course, in June, the 134th Supreme Council Session at New Orleans.

     

‘Fezruary announcement’

    

Click to play the video.

As today is the first Fez Friday of the month of Fezruary, here is some news you need to know.

First, if you didn’t catch the Sapere Aude lecture on Sunday that brought Frank John Sforza to the world to discuss the Mystic Order of Veiled Prophets of the Enchanted Realm, you missed an inspired presentation of Grotto knowledge from our Grand Historian (and local DDGM). Just click the graphic above.

Looking to next month, there will be a Ceremonial at Simba Grotto in south Jersey bringing together Prophets from New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania. Frank says all Prophets are welcome, but the ritual will be worked by Prophets from those three states.

And in April, our Empire State Grotto Association will host its spring session, from the 19th to the 21st, in Kingston. You’ll receive the info if you haven’t already. In addition to the business meetings, there will be the President’s Banquet, Installation of Officers, and more. I’m going to drive up for the Saturday. Hope to see you there.

     

‘New year, new Grotto’

    

Azim Grotto, “The Handsomest Grotto in the Realm,” has new officers and a new schedule of social events for 2024.

Monarch Brian

Officers were elected three weeks ago, at which time Brian Donlon was cajoled into the Monarch’s chair. Congratulations! He has the support of a veritable dream team of Mystic Prophets in the officer stations.

But the bigger news is the Lucky 7 Club, a yearlong schedule of social gatherings around New York City on the seventh of each month. Why seven? Azim is the seventh Grotto to have been chartered, which happened way back in 1893.

As today is January 7, this first Lucky 7 event will take place from noon to four o’clock at Down the Hatch on West Fourth Street (between Sixth and Seventh) in the Village. The details:

Bottomless Brunch Menu

Noon to four

$35 per person

All drafts and mimosas

with eight wings or french toast sticks

w/sausage links and choice

of waffle fries, tots or onion rings

Standard Menu

Noon to Close

$6 shots of Tullamore Dew Green Tea

and Tullamore Dew

$5 all cans and bottles

(High Noon excluded) 

Monarch Brian, he say:

In an attempt to make Grottoing fun again, we are going to make it more convenient as well. This year we will be starting the Lucky 7’s Club. A movable feast of Grotto, if you will. On the seventh of every month, we will meet at a different dive bar or event space throughout the five boroughs, regardless of what day it lands on or who can attend. Whether it’s two Prophets or twenty in attendance, the idea is to bring Grotto closer to each of our homes throughout the boroughs and make it as convenient as possible to come and hang out more often—if within the length of your leather whip… I mean cabletow.

The very first Lucky 7’s Club meeting will be January 7, and as many of you know, the day before, our very own Past Monarch Anthony Ruffini will be installed as Potentate of Mecca Shriners. Many of us will be in attendance and it will be a very beautiful ceremony followed by a lot of celebrating. So the theme of our very first “Club meeting” will be recovery.

We will meet at Down the Hatch in Greenwhich Village for bottomless brunch. I’m sure many of you know the area is known for college/dive bars, and Down the Hatch is no exception. So bring your fez (or don’t) and come join Azim.

Sadly, the Magpie Mason will be unavailable for this one, but I promise to be a Seventh Day Eventist in the future. (Actually, I think I know this place, but in my day it had a different name.) Enjoy, Prophets! Brunch is the most important meal between breakfast and lunch!

    

‘Azim and Shamaliu team up’

   

The Mystic Prophets in formation at Masonic Hall today. That’s the Shamaliu Prophets attired in Grotto black and red. I think we Aziminians need to reinvigorate our sartorial traditions! Grand Monarch Victor, front and center, in a superb sport jacket.

It was the High Holy Days Edition of Azim Grotto Ceremonials today, as the Prophets gathered at Masonic Hall to impart lessons in Sympathy and Good Fellowship upon Pilgrim Neophytes from New Jersey.

Some of the Shamaliu contingent
with Monarch Dave in front.

The Mystic Prophets of the newly chartered Shamaliu Grotto (I forgot to ask those guys what the name means) (I’m told it is the Arabic word meaning “northern”), which meets in the Shriner building in Morris County, outnumbered us! Some were actual candidates, receiving their fezzes as new Prophets, but most already had their black headgear, but had not been through the Ceremonial initiation. All that is corrected now, and I imagine the Shamaliu Prophets will tackle their own ritual work henceforth.

Shamaliu Monarch Dave gets a few pointers
on regalia from Azim Monarch Eric.

Theirs is the second Grotto during this revival of MOVPER in the Garden State. The first, Simba, was launched two years ago, but already is said to be near death. (Sorry, but I predicted that. The lodges in Jersey basically are Grottoes, so I don’t know what novelty MOVPER offers the Masons there. Plus they already have the Shrine, the Sciots, Tall Cedars, and Scottish Rite, and all are moribund.) But Shamaliu appears to be in good hands, and I certainly wish them the best, as we Prophets impart Sympathy and Good Fellowship in a Brotherly Way.

Dignitaries on hand included (Azim’s own) Grand Monarch Victor Mann, who generously steered me toward his Soho tailor for bespoke suits and jackets; and District Deputy Frank Sforza, who always looks like he was born with that million-dollar-suit thing mastered.

John Roberts, PM

Victor once again had the honor of fezzing the new Prophets; Frank returned to the stage to dazzle us anew with his ritual prowess. And Past Monarch John Roberts was back. The Maestro, I call him. No, not ironically!

Other Grottoes were represented today, including Monker in Norwalk, which sent a few Prophets, including Monarch Ray Roche. I haven’t seen him since he was installed MEGHP of the Royal Arch Grand Chapter of New York seven years ago! I think a few Tri Po Bed Prophets were with us too.

We were told Azim has one more event upcoming, either next month or in November, before the elections and installation of officers at year end. And the Empire State Grotto Association has a meeting next month at Niagara Falls. Cheers to Monarch Eric on an eventful 2023.

Today, at least, the G in the Jacobean Room stands for Grotto!

     

‘Prophet motive?’

    

New York City’s Azim Grotto, the local band of the Mystic Order of Veiled Prophets of the Enchanted Realm, will host its next Ceremonial September 23.

Abebooks

First Edition, Fourth Printing, 1923.

Yep, I know what you’re thinking: “Hey, that’s the hundredth anniversary of the publication of Bro. Khalil Gibran’s momentous The Prophet!” And you’re right! It indeed was September 23, 1923 when Alfred A. Knopf released the perennial international best seller. It may be Azim’s choice of that date is entirely coincidental, but it’s still pretty cool.

What is certain is the Ceremonial will be a salute to Past Monarch Victor Mann, who presided over Azim in 2013 and now happens to rule the entire Enchanted Realm of Grottoes International, having been installed as Grand Monarch last month at Supreme Council in Pittsburgh. So, when you see me, I may slip a petition for membership into your pocket.

     

‘Grotto puts Mann in charge’

    

MOVPER photo

Grottoes International, the recently renamed empire of fezzed Freemasons, has concluded its 133rd Supreme Council Session—this time at Pittsburgh—and our new Grand Monarch is Azim Grotto’s own Victor Mann!

He was Azim’s Monarch a decade ago and, such is his dedication to Sympathy and Good Fellowship, he rocketed up the top ranks to be installed Saturday as Grand Monarch of the Mystic Order of Veiled Prophets of the Enchanted Realm. If you’re not familiar, “The Order of Veiled Prophets, while proclaiming the loyalty of its members to Masonry, makes no pretense of being a Masonic Order, nor does it claim to confer a Masonic degree,” according to Supreme Council. “Its membership is exclusively Masonic and its purpose is to supply the element of play, such a way that work and play will be blended without marring the solid beauty of Masonry.”

In other Azim news, our own Dominic Falcone has been installed Grand Sentinel. Bravo!

Bill Thomas selfie

This session was hosted in the Iron City because it’s the hometown of last year’s Grand Monarch, Michael Tomascin. So, you wonder, will the 2024 annual meeting take place in New York City?

No. You crazy? No one can afford to meet here, and it’s dangerous.

The Prophets instead will gather in the Big Easy, Victor’s original hometown, for our 134th Supreme Council Session during the first week of June. The Magpie Mason has every intention of being there. I’ve always wanted to visit New Orleans.

In the meantime, and on the local scene, Azim Grotto is planning a ceremonial for this fall. Details are being worked out. Also, the Empire State Grotto Association will get together October 19-22 at Niagara Falls (“slowly I turned…”).

Victor is from Independent Royal Arch Lodge 2. Very often that’s the mother lodge of Great Chiefs of Knight Masonry, so now it has another claim to fame. Congratulations, Victor!

     

‘New York City Grotto Day’

    

Some Grottoes exhibit wisdom. Some possess strength.

Azim emphasizes beauty! ‘The Handsomest Grotto in the Realm.’

 

Today was the big day for the Mystic Prophets in New York City. The Grotto has gone international, and what used to be National Grotto Day has been promoted to International Grotto Month!

But Azim’s ceremonial at Masonic Hall happened earlier today. Big, big class of candidates. I didn’t catch the number, but it started with 3. Thirty? Three hundred? Who can say? The important thing is Sympathy and Good Fellowship abounded.

Home of the Mokanna.

And, frankly, it was more enjoyable than the previous four or five ceremonials I’ve attended. For example, during the drama, no music was played so it actually was possible to hear what was being said. And Frank, our District Deputy, absolutely killed it in his role. If there were acting awards for Grotto ritual work, Frank would clean up.

Victor’s stylish fez case.

And it was great to see Isaac again. Victor, the Deputy Grand Monarch of Supreme Council, of course was there, and he presented the new Prophets their fezzes. He will be installed Grand Monarch in April of next year in New Orleans, which just has to be the best city for Grotto mayhem. (I think I’m going! I’ve always wanted to visit the birthplace of jazz.)

The altar.

In personal news, I think I might have become the official spiritual leader of Azim. I’ve been the chaplain in the past, I think, four ceremonials. Today, for the first time, I served as chaplain for the meeting itself. Very simple, as rituals go.

We were told to expect an Azim event in May. Details to come, and I’ll share them here when I hear.

     

‘Be an Azim pinball prophet’

    

Azim is starting the year right. On Friday the 27th, the Prophets will gather at the nearby Barcade for drinks and the Iron Maiden Pinball Tournament.

Be the Azim Arcade Pinball Champion of the World!

Get there at seven o’clock. Wear your fez (duh) and your “Azimian best.”

Barcade is located at 148 West 24th Street (between Sixth and Seventh) in Manhattan.

     

‘Azim elections and a month of Grotto goodness’

    

UPDATE: Azim will initiate new Prophets on Saturday, March 25 in the Jacobean Room. No hour announced yet, but last time we kind of got started at around noon.

With my schedule last weekend (see post below), I regretfully had to miss Azim’s elections and installation of officers, which the prophets held on City Island, which, I think, is upstate somewhere. Our leaders (Brethren, let us pray, etc.) as we enter our 130th year are:

Monarch Eric Z.

Chief Justice Brian D.

Venerable Prophet Joe M.

Treasurer Victor(!)

Secretary William N.

Congratulations, everybody! The photos are on the Faceypage.

In other news, National Grotto Day is no more. It’s now International Grotto Month! The graphic above explains it all. I’ll let you know when Azim sets a date.

     

‘MOVPER @ the GWMNM’

    

We who attended the Scottish Freemasonry in America Symposium last weekend at the George Washington Masonic National Memorial in Virginia were given a tour of the museum and other spaces in the building. This edition of The Magpie Mason is a sidebar to the main coverage of that event because I can’t resist sharing some photos of the Grotto exhibit.

What’s the Grotto? Surely you jest! Formally known as the Mystic Order of Veiled Prophets of the Enchanted Realm, it is—as the name infers—the goofy side of Freemasonry in the United States. And elsewhere, actually. They’re establishing Grottoes in Mexico and other points south.

Anyway, here are my shots of the tidily curated MOVPER exhibit.

Nazir Grotto Marching Band uniform on loan from Bernard Mitchell,
Pasts Grand Monarch. Made by Drunkenbrod Tailors of Canton, Ohio, ca. 1940.

Great Mokanna costume, ca. 1960.
If you know, you know.

And, at Fredericksburg Lodge 4 in Fredericksburg:

     
     

‘Every business meeting should be like Azim’

    

Azim, the Grotto’s capital of handsomeness, has called a business and social meeting in two weeks on the Coney Island boardwalk. It’s an open event. Stop by!

Ruby’s

Legendary Ruby’s Bar & Grill will have to anticipate the onslaught of Mystic Prophets August 6. Don’t ask me what’s on the meeting agenda, but I’d guess it’ll be tackled in a few minutes.

Every business meeting should be like that, and every Grotto would be smart to be like Azim.

Attire: “your Azimian best.” Start: high twelve.

     

‘Grotto grows beyond the U.S.’

    

Central America’s smallest nation would not have been my first guess at where the Grotto would take root outside the United States, but I’m usually wrong about most things, and El Salvador it is.

The Grotto is the Mystic Order of Veiled Prophets of the Enchanted Realm—don’t ask me to attempt that in Spanish—and the 132nd Annual Supreme Council Session of Grottoes of North America has been underway this week in Cincinnati. The announcement of Mixtlan and Xibalba Grottos being established in San Salvador came the other day, resulting in a change of name: Grottoes International.

In the family tree of Freemasonry, the Grotto is a frivolous group that leavens the solemnity of our labors in the Craft lodge. It was a group of New York Masons at Hamilton Lodge 120 who started it all. You can read the history here.

In other exciting news, Azim’s very own Victor Mann proceeds up the officer line to Grand Deputy Monarch. Huzzah!

And we have a new District Deputy in Frank Sforza. Congratulations! (I didn’t even know we had District Deputies, but when your Order is growing as rapidly as MOVPER, you get District Deputies.)

Also, on the humanitarian side of the Order, legislation was approved to raise the maximum age of patients receiving dental care from 18 to 21. MOVPER’s main philanthropy is providing dentistry to children with special needs, many of whom require treatment beyond the abilities of most dentists.

I bet they’ll announce where next year’s session will take place, and I’ll update this with that info when I hear it.

     

‘National Grotto Day 2022’

    

Another National Grotto Day is done, and Azim in New York City is ten Prophets richer, having put that many through the ceremonial at Masonic Hall this afternoon.

It was a subdued effort, with several dozen in attendance egging on the Pilgrim Neophytes through a short form ritual, but the story of Sympathy and Good Fellowship shone through. And the booze began flowing just before noon, so we had that going for us.

Our Prepared Candidate, the exemplar who made the ritual journeys on behalf of the group, was none other than Alex, a New Jersey Mason who works professionally as an actor—and what a fortuitous choice that was! I guess he does a lot of improv work, because he was uncannily brilliant.

Note to self: Buy a costume befitting a religious leader. (I’m Chaplain for the ritual, and today I was surprised to become Chaplain for Azim’s meeting as well, so I better step up my wardrobe game.)

The Prophet in black here traveled from Michigan (whatever that is) to make these presentations.

     

‘Viddy well, brothers, viddy well’

    

The Magpie Mason has alluded to A Clockwork Orange, both the novel and the film, several times over the years, so it gives me more than the usual pleasure to show you this.

Cameo is a video-sharing service that connects paying customers to a diverse pool of celebrities—and “celebrity” is very broadly understood here—who record custom messages for their fans.

At last, we have a Clockwork-Craft connection courtesy of Cameo. On behalf of the Grotto and its dentistry for the developmentally disabled philanthropy, Mr. Malcolm McDowell, who starred fifty years ago in the motion picture, appears on video in tribute to the Prophets of Samoor Grotto in Florida.

Click here. It runs less than a minute.

It’s an odd choice. McDowell has excelled in roles that are unsympathetic in the eyes of most viewers. I’m not complaining. Just an observation. I hope there’s a colorful story behind it.

     

‘Those are different Veiled Prophets!’

     

Princeton University

Ellie Kemper

Amid the flotsam of “news media” this morning is the non-story of how a fairly obscure and innocuous actress had been an honoree at a debutante ball more than twenty years ago.

The organization that hosted the ball is named the Veiled Prophets. For reasons not explained in any of the “reportage” that I’ve seen so far, the group is being called racist. In the depravity of social media, it is likened to the Klan, etc.

Search Ellie Kemper, and you’ll see what I mean.

Whatever these Veiled Prophets are, they are not associated with Freemasonry’s lovable Mystic Order of Veiled Prophets of the Enchanted Realm, also known as the Grotto. This other group is local to St. Louis and predates our Grotto by a decade or more.

     

‘New Grotto in Jersey’

     

Courtesy Simba Grotto

Congratulations are in order to Monarch Mark, Chief Justice Donald, and Master of Ceremonies Craig—Esteemed Prophets all—on becoming the principal officers of the newly warranted Simba Grotto!

The Mystic Order of Veiled Prophets of the Enchanted Realm has been absent from New Jersey for many years. Until a few decades ago, there had been one in Secaucus (Yalomed, I think) and one somewhere in south Jersey. A hundred or so years ago, there was Zem Zem in Jersey City, and New-Ark in...Newark. Starting in about a month, Simba will fill the air with the boos and hollers of Sympathy and Good Fellowship in Cherry Hill.

Some kid stopped me on 23rd Street a couple of months ago and asked why I’m so interested in the MOVPER. Just when I was about to say “Snap it, pal!” I caught myself and instead decided to answer him. I said because it is and it does what it says it is and does. Also, the Freemasons who take lodge and chapter seriously can appreciate having a Grotto for frivolous refreshment. Now get away from me, kid. Ya bother me.

     

‘Never gonna do it without the fez on’

Today, I finally make a point to sit down and watch D.W. Young’s documentary from last year The Booksellers. A few minutes in, a dealer of, what he calls, esoteric books is on camera. Didn’t catch his name.

     

Another National Grotto Day is in the books. At Azim, sixteen new Prophets received the mysteries of the Order in what was a fairly well attended ceremony, all things considered. I was genuinely moved by the atrociousness of the occasion.

I’ll have to update this edition of The Magpie Mason with photos when they become available later. We were enjoined from photographing, but an official photographer was on hand, and our Facebook page will have the evidence soon.

UPDATE:

Okay, okay. I’ll volunteer to be the photographer next time.

One additional great moment came when a lifetime achievement award was presented to Prophet Leon Weinstein in thanks especially for his keeping Azim alive years ago when all seemed lost. Then in 2010, this Grotto was revived by the arrival of a new generation, so the boos and hollers of Sympathy and Good Fellowship shall reverberate throughout Masonic Hall for future Veiled Prophets.

I had the chance to attend one of the Zoom conferences hosted during the winter in preparation for today’s nationwide event, and one of the facts I took away from the conversation is the awe in which Azim is regarded across the Enchanted Realm. Grottoes throughout the country are looking to New York City to learn how it’s done. Of course you’d expect that in any case, but it’s nice to hear.