‘I demit from The Lost Symbol’

     

I think the wrong finger is up.

UPDATE: January 26, 2022–Peacock has canceled the show.

And, speaking of demits (see post below), I have left the new The Lost Symbol program also.

You’ve been following the pre-production process on the other blog for a few years—it’s okay; I’m not jealous—and NBC’s streaming Peacock premiered the first episode yesterday.

It just doesn’t cause me to knock on the door. I don’t require documentary realism in all my entertainment, but this story begins with the hero, Harvard Professor Robert Langdon, being interrupted mid lecture by a phone call from the villain.

Everybody knows Big Money university professors don’t teach their own classes.

And it plummets from there. It’s a thriller that neglects to thrill, and a mystery bereft of mystique. The professor’s mentor has been abducted by Mal’akh (subtle!) to extort hidden wisdom for nefarious goals. Masonic and other symbols are the clues both to piecing together the esoterica and to rescuing the kidnapped Peter Solomon.

Will the diversity checklist ensemble of detectives solve the crime before time runs out?! Yeah, sure. And don’t be surprised when some pregnant guy provides an urgent piece of the puzzle, sotto voce, while en route to Planned Parenthood for his Constitutionally protected late-term abortion.

In the meantime, you will gasp please at the kinetic chases, explosions, hand-to-hand combat, and other pitfalls for which professors and federal employees alike are known to endure to justify their lavish salaries and pensions.

I am writing a treatment for a show about finding the clod who keeps trying to hack Art de Hoyos’ Facebook account. Look for That Which Was Changed on Magpie TV in 2024!